With the popularity of Pillion and other frisky films, dom-sub play has gone mainstream. But the arrangement doesn’t always correspond with the assumed sexual positions.
Being in control and being on top aren’t necessarily equivalent!
On TikTok, a young sub who posts under the name “camerashy” posited that he would be open to topping his partner. That is, as long as his partner wanted him to.
“The concept of being so submissive I would top if my partner wanted me to,” he wrote over a video that shows him staring into the distance, presumably waiting for further instruction.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Given the video’s popularity, it seems that he would have many takers. It’s been viewed more than 1.5 million times…
The mainstreaming of kinky sex shows the practice isn’t nearly as taboo as once assumed. Research suggests that up to 15% of gay men identify as submissive, and 45% of adults have fantasized about BDSM. For some of those adults (or suburban women, at least), those dreams were encapsulated in print and on the big screen with Fifty Shades of Grey, which sold over 150 million copies and grossed $1.3 billion worldwide.
There are a lot of thirsty sisters out there!
Indeed, dom-sub play dates back to ancient times. Thousands of years later, the practice still carries a hedonistic allure. “I think there’s allure to it, because it is often presented as darkness,” sex and intimacy coach Court Vox once told me. “For some people, that’s the sexiest part about it. We’re working in the shadows.”
Court Vox adds the practice can be “extremely connecting,” as well as playful and silly. That is, assuming it’s employed correctly…
Related
Court Vox on BDSM, erotic retreats & what everyone gets wrong about gay sex
Court Vox became enamored with sex for a fitting reason: he was having lots of it!
Grindr and other hookup apps lean into kink play, allowing users to select a wide range of fetishes and interests. Sniffies in particular is kink forward: options range from “CNC” (an abbreviation for “consensual non-consensual”) to “lingerie.”
While increased visibility is great for kinksters, it welcomes a degree of phoniness and toxicity. Before smart phones, people had to attend leather bars or post personals to engage in kink play. Now, like with most activities, friction has been removed.
That means there are a lot of misconceptions about doms and subs, beginning with the notion that the dom is always on top. Hundreds of people pointed out this distinction on TikTok and X, where it was also shared (that post has more than 1.7 million views).
“Every couple of days y’all discover that sub/dom ≠ top/bottom,” somebody wisely advised.
as always, people are conflating top/bottom with dom/sub https://t.co/GQ9RJIUION
— novu
(@evamuvon) July 12, 2026
acting like submissive tops don’t exist
its more common than you think https://t.co/8sazhuYdlC
— luca (@cisnistr) July 12, 2026
the concept of being gay but still so entrenched in heteronormative norm with a dash of partriachy that the idea of being submissive is an exclusive trait for the receiving end (bottoms, or women in broader context) that is so foreign and taboo for “men” (=top) to be one https://t.co/g3Lp14iLST
— assparagus |
(@cumglazeddildo) July 12, 2026
As stated above, there are many variations within the top/bottom binary. There are power bottoms, soft tops, and yes, even sub doms. A few years ago, we covered the plight of a Dom Top who listens to… Selena Gomez?!
We hear that he also uses heart emojis when he texts (gasp!)
Overall, a great advantage to being gay is the ability to discard rigid relationship norms. The “man” is not always in charge, and the “dom” is not always on top.
Now, please excuse us our man tells us what to do…
Related
Dom Top gets called out for listening to Selena Gomez at the gym & other tops are rushing to his defense
A user on X posted a Grindr screenshot from an apparent user who was shocked Dom Tops could like Selena Gomez.
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