It’s probably fair to say that actor, comedian, and podcaster Bryan Safi is one of the most beloved voices in entertainment. And yet, with his new solo show, all he wants to know is: Are You Mad At Me??
After a hit run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last summer, Safi brings the show to NYC for a limited engagement at the HERE Arts Center, blending stand-up, storytelling, music, and a cacophony of neuroses into something he calls “Sleep No More, but for people pleasers.”
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And, yes, there is a bit of audience participation involved—how else is he going to know if you’re mad at him? It all amounts to a completely singular theatrical experience, one that’s both hilarious and heart-wrenching as he explores the anxieties and awkwardness of everyday life that’ll feel especially familiar to all of us gays out there who have ever suffered from ” Best Little Boy In The World” syndrome.
Co-produced by his 9-1-1 co-star Jennifer Love Hewitt, with the hilarious Kevin Zak (Ginger Twinsies) serving as a creative consultant, Are You Mad At Me?? might be Safi’s Off-Broadway debut, but he feels right at home on the stage. And while the star’s never held back on his fan-favorite podcasts Attitudes! and Ask Ronna, he’s especially unfiltered here—and the show’s all the better for it.
With Are You Mad At Me?? playing now through August 15, we decided to invite Safi into the hot seat for our long-running Q&A series, Dishin’ It. In our conversation, he reveals the movie musical that “opened up the floodgates” for him, the number one lesson he’s learned from working on 9-1-1, and why theaters is “probably the healthiest and unhealthiest art form” for a people-pleaser like him.
Is there a piece of media—whether a movie, TV series, book, album, theater, video game, etc.—that shaped your understanding of queerness and the queer community, or your own identity? Why does it stand out to you?
“Screw Maximilian.” “I do.” “So do I.”
I remember renting Cabaret as a kid and not only being completely floored by the movie but absolutely stunned by that exchange when we find out Brian is bisexual. I rewound that scene a million times, convinced I’d missed some clue. I studied it like it was the Zapruder film.
That moment kind of opened the floodgates for me. Suddenly I started noticing queer coding everywhere. I clocked the gay couple in Big Business with Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin. Then The Lion King came out and my only love, Scar. Instant crush.
I loved that Scar had this older brother who was effortlessly confident, beloved, the golden child. My brother is a year older than me and naturally gifted, so I related to that dynamic immediately. Looking back, I also just love queer villains. We’ve got a lot to be pissed about, frankly.
Congratulations on Are You Mad At Me??‘s Off-Broadway run! What was the earliest germ of an idea for the show, and were you looking to certain inspirations when you started bringing it together?
I just see so much talent around me constantly. People making exactly what they want to make without worrying whether it’ll sell, whether it’ll appeal to all four quadrants, or whether a studio will buy it. We’re really in the era of the creator in such exciting ways. I wanted to make something for myself that made me laugh. The first spark for the show was actually thinking about some of the homophobic slurs I was called growing up. As awful as they were, some of them have aged… surprisingly well. They’re kind of fierce now. So, I turned them into a game in the show called “Were They Homophobic Or Were They Just Serving?”
I look around at shows like Oh, Mary! or someone like Jeff Hiller having this incredible, well-deserved moment, and what strikes me is that they’re completely themselves. They aren’t chasing trends, they’re making the thing only they could make. I found that incredibly inspiring. I’m also a gigantic people pleaser, so theater is probably the healthiest and unhealthiest art form I could have chosen. You get instant feedback every night. When it works, it’s incredibly nourishing. And when it doesn’t, well, I guess that’s kind of what Are You Mad At Me?? is about.
You first took Are You Mad At Me?? to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland, and I’m wondering if you can talk a little bit more about that experience and what audiences at the festival were like? Do you have any fun or interesting memories performing for a bunch of Scots? Did the Fringe performances help you fine-tune what you wanted Are You Mad At Me?? to be?
I loved it. I went to Edinburgh with one show and came home with a completely different one. Every night was a work in progress, and that was the fun of it. I’d try something, see what connected, throw things out, add new bits. It’s a grueling experience, but you learn so much, and there’s really nothing else like it. Plus, you’re surrounded by artists taking big swings, and it’s incredibly infectious.
The Scottish audiences were fantastic. The version people are seeing Off-Broadway owes a lot to those audiences.
As an avowed Housewives fan, what’s your Housewives tagline for the show and why?
“I’m not afraid of you, I’m afraid of EVERYTHING!” Because my favorite Housewives have confrontations about tiny things, but it’s always deeper and something larger, it’s years of things that haven’t been fully dealt with. Exactly me.
The show brings you across the coast to NYC, so in your opinion: What’s the difference between LA gays and NY gays?
New York gays will go see a weird little play on a Tuesday night just because someone told them it was good. LA gays are wonderful, but we’re all stuck in traffic trying to get to our dermatologist. Doing two things in one day in LA is basically impossible.
You’ve had quite an impressive run on 9-1-1 as dispatcher Josh Russo—what, if anything, has the show taught you about how to handle yourself in an IRL emergency?
That if I’m in trouble, I need to call Jennifer Love Hewitt. I know she plays a dispatcher, but after eight seasons I honestly believe she’d know exactly what to do.
And speaking of 9-1-1, the show has allowed you to live out a fantasy of many a gay: being able to call Jennifer Love Hewitt a friend & colleague! Why is she the best, and what does it mean for you to have her on board Are You Mad At Me?? as a producer?
Jennifer is the reason I felt at home on the set from the beginning. On my very first day, she walked over to me and said, “I watched some of your stuff. You’re hilarious. This is going to be so fun.” It instantly put me at ease. That’s who she is. She’s a champion for the people around her. She’s also a very savvy producer and businessperson. She’s been supportive from day one, and I’m so grateful she’s in my corner. She doesn’t know this, but I’m quietly in the process of changing my name to Jennifer Love Hewitt 2. That’s how much I love her.
And, in closing: Who is an LGBTQ+ artist/performer/creator that you think is doing really cool work right now? Why are they someone we should all be paying attention to?
Drew Droege, Pete Zias, Kevin Zac, Bob the Drag Queen, Pat Regan, Jinkx Monsoon, John Early, Keke Palmer, Trixie Mattel, Patti Harrison, Meg Stalter, Peppermint, Cole Escola, Jeff Hiller, Bowen and Matt, Josh Sharp, too many to count. Which is a wonderful thing!
Don’t miss Bryan Safi in Are You Mad At Me??, playing in a limited engagement at NYC”s HERE Arts Center now through August 15. Find tickets & more information here.
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