Tr*mp’s tendency to fall asleep during events of state is very well-documented by now. So when we learned that the president was caught dozing at Senator Lindsey Graham’s funeral, it comes as something less than a surprise.
The 80-year-old Tr*mp, who loved to claim that “Sleepy Joe” Biden was too old for office has now taken the lead as the oldest president to hold office, and it shows.
At several points during the ceremony, Tr*mp’s “slow blinking” has him almost falling off his chair, until he catches himself at the last moment.
Politics, but make it gay!
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To be fair, it’s possible that Tr*mp’s sleepiness was a defense mechanism. Before the funeral, the Washington Post reported the notoriously anti-LGBTQ+ senator’s death had Tr*mp thinking about his own nearness to the void. It wasn’t on Tr*mp’s—or anyone’s—bingo card that the 71-year-old Graham, almost a full decade younger than Tr*mp, would be the GOP Senator to bite the bullet this year, but here we are.
“I thought he was just going to live forever,” Tr*mp told the press last week. He also called up the memory of his own father, Fred Tr*mp, who died at the same age. He considered Graham a close friend and ally, which didn’t stop him from going off-script at the funeral this week to talk about how a lot of people deeply hated the rumored closeted politician who made gay peoples’ lives a living hell through DOMA and his anti-gays in the military stance.
“He was a tough cookie,” Tr*mp told viewers, breaking from a script that tried to claim Graham was a universally beloved figure. “Not everybody [liked Graham].”
Understatement of the century! But among the many false, bloviating moments at the Graham funeral, the strangest detail of all was called out by queer journalist V Spehar, who noticed something quite unusual about how other mourners discussed the late bigot.
“They treated D*n*ld Tr*mp like his widow,” Spehar said of yesterday’s funeral. And… yeah, it’s pretty weird. Possibly speakers who referred to Graham going to a big Mar-a-Lago in the sky were trying to curry pathetic favor with Tr*mp, or maybe they were trying to be sensitive to the fact that the grim reaper is sharpening his scythe for the next assignment. Either way, it came off… strangely gay?
Sean Hannity went on and on about Graham going to a gilded palace rivaling Tr*mp’s own tacky Oval Office redesign. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” he said, “if he added one big beautiful ballroom somewhere on the property, because would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life: you, Mr. President.”
Dearest friend in life? It’s giving “and they were roommates.” Especially when you consider the part of Tr*mp’s eulogy where he talked about his constant contact with the Senator. “While I blew up his phone for one day,” Tr*mp said, “we became great friends, and Lindsey did not stop calling me for the next 10 years.”
Graham’s closeted status was a huge joke while he lived, and a sad fact of his death. But even sadder is the fact that his funeral was used by cronies like Sean Hannity as a way to gas up the already gassy president by calling Mar-a-Lago—a site of incredible corruption and violence—equal to heaven.
How exactly like a Republican to imagine heaven as a large “property” undergoing constant needless construction. Also how like a Republican to ignore the fact that even Graham’s staunchest supporters know that if there’s a heaven, Graham is almost certainly in the other place.
Related
Award-winning queer journalist Jana Shortal shares a beautiful bittersweet tribute to a fan
“Count Fred as one of your angel friends, now and forever,” says Shortal.
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