Bathhouses have made headlines in recent months following moves to bring them back to major US cities.
A worker in one such establishment has earned praise after setting out why he loves his job.
Writing in the AskGayBros subreddit, and without identifying where he works, he said, “I loved this place before I worked there and I actually love it a little more since I started. This place is a place of relaxation, open feelings and just an extraordinary showing of life. People can come here to simply get off, but also to celebrate, to socialize, to admire, but also figure themselves out.
“I’ve seen couples meet, exes be in the same space and not fight or have a screaming match, older men who have just come out and younger men doing the same journey.
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“Yeah, sure, as a worker, the eye candy is there, but there are levels of sweetness I don’t think most people who judge from the outside or surface level judgement because they cannot see this place as just a sexual space.”
He went on to offer an example.
“This older man checks in every day; he met his husband here 30 years ago, and his partner passed away just a year ago.
“He told me he doesn’t really come here to have sex; he just feels close to his husband here, and it makes him feel good knowing that younger queer men still have this space.”
The older man also says he lost a lot of friends during the AIDS crisis, and “places like the bathhouse became the place to have those conversations about sexual safety for us.”
Permission to enjoy one’s self
The worker went on to point out the benefits of bathhouses as physical spaces.
“In the era when many of us live at home, share with roommates, or have woefully “thin apartment walls, “the bathhouse is a true place of release and reprieve. And motels and hotels make it so hard just for that opportunity for privacy because we are still subject to the same rules of noise concern as above. Not at the bathhouse.
“Everyone entering the space agrees to be exposed to the sexual nature of the space. To finally let out that full moan because there is literally everyone else moaning around you doing the same. It gives that unconscious permission to literally let go and lose all forms of shame. Joy, enacted and uninterrupted. I know, super existentialist but hear me out. So many of us don’t get to be our full selves. Even if it’s for a few moments being allowed to scream taking a d*ck or getting an amazing oral, that permission to do so is cathartic.
“And the sweetness after those shared events. ‘Thank you.’ I hear it so many times being passed between one another here. That’s the simple version. Then there is flirting between one another. Men who constantly have a bad image of themselves because of online dating/-social media actually get a big confidence booster here.”
Blocked on apps, welcomed at the spa
“I saw one thing that made me cry on a shift,” he continued. “Short story: this older man was hesitant to check in because he thought no one in the club would like him. He was a little chubby, grey-haired, coming from a small town in Ohio. I told him I’d give it 30 minutes before someone would hit him up.”
The prediction proved accurate.
“But the part that made me cry on my break was another older man checked in, similar in age, taller, great haired and bearded. And two hours later, I catch them cuddling on one of our couches, giggling and kissing like teenagers. AND THEY BOTH CHECKED OUT HOLDING HANDS! I checked both in, and I had the biggest grin checking them out.
“I asked if they had a good time, and we chatted for a bit. Turns out they both are from Ohio and only live about 45 minutes from each other. I pray they are doing well. I saw them share an Uber on their way to a sushi restaurant I recommended to them.
“Seriously, these aren’t the only stories that keep me working here. A lot of life happens at the bathhouse, and honestly people need to give it a try.”
Phone-free zones are unique these days
In the replies, others praised bathhouses for offering something rather unique these days.
“Honestly, the fact that no one is allowed to have phones is a social game changer,” said one man. “It’s such a free space with GENUINE human interaction that you can’t experience anywhere else.”
Others clarified that bathhouses only prohibit cells in certain areas. Guys routinely check their phones in the locker room or sometimes in a bar or lounge area.
Mainly, most people wanted to thank the worker for his insight.
“Thanks for the post – I’ve long felt like bathhouses are special places for gay men; you do them justice!” said one guy.
The slow return of bathhouses
In the US, many cities closed down bathhouses in the 1980s in a moral backlash following the arrival of AIDS. However, with modern medication such as PrEP, and with many HIV-positive gay men unable to pass on the virus if undetectable, attitudes have changed.
It’s also accepted that bathhouses, especially in places such as Europe and Canada, present a great opportunity for outreach. Health workers visit saunas regularly to offer STI testing, often reaching men who would not normally visit a clinic.
San Francisco lifted regulations prohibiting gay bathhouses in 2024. However, some city regulations still make operating such businesses financially challenging. This includes not allowing them to sell alcohol.
In June, Minneapolis officials voted to overturn ordinances banning gay bathhouses. City Mayor Jacob Frey was happy to sign the change in law, calling it part of the “Best Pride Weekend yet.”
The best Pride weekend yet!! pic.twitter.com/r5PVQKJi1D
— Mayor Jacob Frey (@MayorFrey) June 28, 2026
Earlier this week, New York state senator Erik Bottcher and Assemblyman Tony Simone announced they’re partnering in an effort to bring bathhouses back to the Big Apple. Their proposed law would call for New York State’s health department to repeal its AIDS-era restrictions on the spaces.
“The science has changed. Prevention has changed. Treatment has changed. It’s time for our laws to change too,” posted Bottcher on IG.
Related
Minneapolis officially lifts its AIDS-era ban on bathhouses
“Best Pride weekend yet!” says Mayor Jacob Frey as he signs the new ordinance to bring back bathhouses.
Bathhouse employee goes viral on TikTok with inspiring story about “hung” 92-year-old man
This older gentleman apparently is the star of the gay bathhouse.
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