One thing about ex-ICE Barbie Kristi Noem? Where the emotions of shame, embarrassment, and regret are concerned, she’s Teflon. If most of us had survived one third of the scandals she’s faced this year, it would be enough to make us crawl into a hole and never see sunlight again.
Not so for the disgraced ex-DHS head, who was spotted this week dining lakeside with alleged affair partner Corey Lewandowski in Minneapolis, the very city she terrorized this winter with violent, unconstitutional ICE raids.
Just months after being ousted from her DHS role—not to mention the Bryon Noem bimbofication scandal that followed—Noem was caught by TMZ enjoying a scenic Lake Minnetonka bike ride with Lewandowski, followed by a date at CōV in nearby Wayzata.
Recent divorce rumors about Noem and her busty bimbo-fied husband were floated by Noem’s mother last month, but have not yet been confirmed by Noem herself.
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Between Noem’s disastrous ICE rollout in Minneapolis early this year, her husband’s high-profile, queer-adjacent fetish, and the running joke of her denial of the Lewandowski affair, Noem has every reason to never show her face in the city—or any city—again. Now, not only is she enjoying the best the blue city has to offer while cozying up to the married father of four, she’s going a step further…by unveiling an actual statue of herself in South Dakota.
Today in the state capital of Pierre, Noem’s likeness—next to a horse, because she’s a renowned animal lover—is set to be unveiling as part of the city’s “Trail of Governors.” The question is…who signed off on this? Furthermore…who’s paying for it? Apparently the entire thing is being funded by private donations, which implies that the statue is a vanity project of the most brazen kind. It’s also pretty ironic, considering that one of the rumored reasons for her firing was a $220 million ad spend by DHS featuring images of Noem, you guessed it, on horseback.
In Pierre, South Dakota, Noem’s quick response to the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic might overshadow her more recent, infamous history in the Tr*mp administration. It’s interesting, however, that Noem doesn’t choose to spend her time biking with Lewandowski down the Missouri River. Instead, she’s eating out in a place where most citizens want nothing more than to memory-hole her existence for good.
“Why do they go to Blue Cities and Blue States?” one commenter asked on TMZ’s video.
Good question!
“Wait a minute… Tim Walz’s Minnesota?” another wrote in disbelief. “I’m surprised she feels so safe there considering all the things she said…before she was fired.”
They’re referring to Noem’s claims that Walz’s leadership increased fradulent spending in the state…in the absence of any evidence. Noem also told Walz to “grow up” directly after Renee Nicole Good’s death by ICE agents in January. She referred to another ICE victim, Alex Pretti, as a “domestic terrorist.”
Apparently Noem doesn’t see the contradiction in choosing this particular location for her ICE Barbie dream date, even though everyone else does.
As always, the joke’s on her. Apollonia may have been able to purify herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, but that’s definitely not an option for Kristi Noem.
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