We recently covered the traumatic tale of a man who came home to find his husband in bed with three other guys. Though the couple is open, the man says his hubby’s unsanctioned four-way represents a gross breach of trust. Now, he doesn’t know if they can continue forward.
If only his husband would’ve planned better, the whole catastrophe could’ve been avoided! We kid, we kid. When it comes to successful open relationships, the most important rules are honesty and, well, open communication. But a direct offshoot of that is planning. That way, there are no hurried meetings or surprises.
Plus, people got jobs. That’s why the sex has to be scheduled.
Gotta get it in before he comes home and finds out!
How about we take this to the next level?
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On X, “Neurodivergent King” called out guys in open relationships for their habit of scheduling D appointments. “Guys in open relationships be like hey you free to have sex next Thursday at 730,” he said.
Judging by the post’s popularity, he isn’t alone in his perception. It’s been viewed more than 3 million times.
Sometimes conflated with polyamory, open relationships are growing in popularity. Research shows that gay men, by and large, are the biggest adopters. More than 30% of gay couples are open, according to a 2018 study. That’s compared to 22% of bi respondents, 5% of lesbians and just 2% of straights.
Over the last eight years, the number of open gay couples has probably only grown. Thank you, Sniffies!
That’s where the dichotomy comes in. People often log onto Sniffies, or other hookup apps, when they want to find immediate sex. They’re feeling feral right now. Receiving a Google Cal invite–next Wednesday, 6:00 p.m.–ruins the vibe.
Then again, we all know that few of these proposed lascivious, spontaneous hookups actually happen. And of those that do occur, even fewer are enjoyable.
When sex is scheduled, everyone can come prepared. Many say that planning ahead is preferred.
Better than wanting, wondering and then getting nothing tbh. Gotta use that Calendar, Siri will do it for you
—
Christopher
Related
How open is too open? Husband shocked to find partner in bed with three guys
So, how open is TOO open?
Conversely, perhaps there is something to be said about over-optimization. People used to step outside, touch grass and cruise past a park bench. Now we need to accept a cal invite, circle back, confirm and receive a QR code for entry. As the great Lexi Featherston once said, no one’s fun anymore! What’s next, leaving on your WHOOP while making whoopee? (Don’t answer that…)
At the core of the matter, “Neurodivergent King” seems to believe that people in open relationships who pre-plan their hookups are unfulfilled. “Yeah then my friend asks for plans and I say sorry I can’t that night I’m having sex with a stranger who’s sexually unsatisfied by his long term relationship,” he added.
Yeah then my friend asks for plans and I say sorry I can’t that night I’m having sex with a stranger who’s sexually unsatisfied by his long term relationship
— Neurodivergent King (@FudsonFole) July 22, 2026
There is a wrongly held belief that open relationships are panaceas. Earlier this year, writer Matthew Huff spoke with multiple therapists who said more gay couples should just break up, rather than solicit sex with others. “If you’re in a relationship and you don’t feel like it’s working very well, the answer is don’t open it at that time,” said one of them. “It’s just going to be putting kerosene on the fire.”
But getting back to our unhappy hubby, one way to ensure a blowup is miscommunication. The consensus seems to be that D appointments aren’t toxic. But rather, they’re healthy.
The cal invite has been accepted. We look forward to linking up!
Related
My boyfriend & I opened our relationship and now he’s upset that I slept with a woman. Did I do something wrong?
“Hi Jake, A few weeks ago, a group of friends and I ended up back at someone’s house after a night out. Long story short, I hooked up with a woman. My boyfriend wasn’t there, but I told him about it the next day because that’s what we’d agreed to do. I expected him to laugh or maybe be surprised. Instead, he got really upset.”
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