Hockey bros and hogs pair together like skates and a fresh sheet of ice. And we’re not just talking about the scintillating scenes from Heated Rivalry!
On IG, a certified hockey bro and fitness coach named Brandon Couto recently opined on his habit of checking out his teammates’ sticks. Judging by the outsized reaction, he’s not alone. His video is up to nearly 30,000 likes and counting.
“A lot of my buddies are dumbfounded by the fact that in the hockey locker room, we walk around with our hogs out,” he says.
Couto goes on to say that he and his teammates “shower together,” laugh together and “stuff like that.” But get one thing straight: it’s not F’n gay!
How about we take this to the next level?
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Riighhttt…
“Dude bro” vibes aside, Couto stumbles upon a couple of important themes. The first is the well-established relationship between hypermasculinity and homoeroticism. That’s the case in athletics, where the most physically demanding sports command the most homoerotic culture and customs.
Back in the late 1970s, Cal-Berkeley anthropologist Alan Dundes wrote a now-notorious paper equating football vernacular with gay sex. Players such as tight ends and wide receivers try to penetrate opposing defenses so they can score touchdowns and put their team on top. Old-school coaches especially love it when running backs pound the ball into the end zone, often awarding the hard-nosed feat with a hard slap on the buttocks.
Then in other physical sports, like wrestling and MMA, ripped and hairless men joust with one another while wearing skintight singlets and suits. UFC weigh-ins are undoubtedly the gayest event in sports: they feature two guys in boxer briefs staring each other down.
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With all of that gayness in mind, it’s not surprising that UFC fighters are also the most homophobic. We call that repressed homosexuality, hunty! 
As far as Couto’s intentions, he stresses that he and his teammates “don’t, like, stare at each other’s hogs.” Instead, they merely size each other up.
“I’ll usually scan the room, see who I got beat and who I don’t got beat: ‘Jimmy’s got an F’n wrench on him. Holy F,” he adds. (Hog?! Wrench?! Holy F indeed!) 
In a 100% relatable moment, Couto adds that he feels better when he sees guys who are “smaller.”
That brings us to the other societal topic that he touches: our increasing lack of shared nude spaces. Coincidently, a 2025 article in The Atlantic about this very topic went viral again this week, sparking conversation about the value in seeing regular people naked in non-sexualized settings.
It doesn’t happen often at all anymore, which means most people, and men in particular, only interact with nudity via graphic adult content.
That’s not very healthy, nor is it good for self-esteem. Earlier this year, I visited a men’s sauna where nudity is mandated and unremarkable, and was struck by how unique that was.
At the hot tub, I was seated next to men of all ages and sizes. Nobody was actively glancing at others or avoiding their eyes. People were just… normal.
I lowkey think this is a legitimate thing to write an article about
Casual nudity is all but dead in society, and we’ve become more puritan as a result https://t.co/DnlE1ek21n
— Basil
(@LinkofSunshine) July 29, 2026
As gay people, we are scantily clad in each other’s presence way more than straight guys. Studies show that straight dudes won’t even say “I love you” to their friends, due to their fear of being called… you know.
That’s why we want to give Couto some credit. Unlike his “dumbfounded” buds, he doesn’t seem uncomfortable around nudity at all.
But even his comfort has a limit. After comparing hogs, he says he’s “not looking” at his teammates again.
Riighhttt…
This is exactly hockey locker room norms lol we look
then move on pic.twitter.com/ahN0pNOGtu
— Chad B (@ChadBoisson) July 29, 2026
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I visited a men’s sauna where nudity is non-sexualized. Here’s why you should too…
There are advantages to being unclothed in non-sexualized spaces.
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