Are you ready for some football?
While it may be hard to believe, this week is the first full slate of NFL preseason games. With the regular-season kicking off September 9, you only have a few more weeks to brush up on your pigskin knowledge.
Luckily, we have just the cheat sheet for you. A Cal-Berkeley psychoanalyst equated football to gay sex nearly 50 years ago, so the hard work is already done!
Now, you just need to know who to keep your eyes on. The gay gaze doesn’t just set its sights upon anybody!
How about we take this to the next level?
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In football parlance, skill position players are the ones who light up the scoreboards–and our eyes. On the offensive side, the skill positions are quarterback, running back and receiver… but that would ignore all of the wide open tight ends.
So we’re adding them to the list!
On defense, cornerbacks are the skill players responsible for smothering opposing wideouts and keeping them out of the end zone. Hey, brushing up against Athletic Adonises must be hard, but somebody has to do it.
Without further delay, here are the NFL’s 15 most skilled studs…
Joe Burrow (Cincinnati Bengals, QB)
Joe Burrow giving us a great view
pic.twitter.com/uHpK5Z8XGu
—
(@DybalaAndMore) March 22, 2026
(Now you know why they call him “Daddy…”)
Justin Herbert (Los Angeles Chargers, QB)
(Madison Beer’s hubby-to-be.)
Jalen Hurts (Philadelphia Eagles, QB)
Saquon Barkley (Philadelphia Eagles, RB)
2024 was fun.. ready for what’s next
@SFDigitals pic.twitter.com/1pHnkp3FGm
— Saquon Barkley (@saquon) January 2, 2025
Christian McCaffrey (San Francisco 49ers, RB)
We can think of no better running back to play in the historic queer capital.
Kyren Williams (Los Angeles Rams, RB)
Colston Loveland (Chicago Bears, TE)
George Kittle (San Francisco 49ers, TE)
Trey McBride (Arizona Cardinals, TE)
We’re always rooting for the NFL star with two moms.
Related
Hockey bro opens up about comparing “hogs” in the locker room
Hockey bros and hogs pair together like skates and a fresh sheet of ice.
Ja’Marr Chase (Cincinnati Bengals, WR)
Name a hotter QB/WR combo than Burrow-Chase. You can’t!
Zay Flowers (Baltimore Ravens, WR)
CeeDee Lamb (Dallas Cowboys, WR)
Christian Gonzalez (New England Patriots, CB)
Cooper DeJean (Philadelphia Eagles, CB)
Pat Surtan II (Denver Broncos, CB)
Related
NFL player has a challenge for anti-gay athletes & they’re not gonna like it…
Kenny Stills called out athletes who are posting bible verses in support of Jaden Ivey.
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