Over the past 24 hours, you may have heard a story that goes a little something like this: on an commercial flight, a senior flight attendant went into the cockpit to relay a message to the captain… and found his captain flying a little too high with the copilot. The in-flight fellatio caused an emergency landing, and all 86 passengers had to de-plane, just because these randy gentlemen could not handle their scandal.
Here’s the problem: if it sounds a little too on-the-nose to be true, that’s because it is. The post—originally intended as satire—took off, and in the midst of being widely shared, the original, jokey context of the post got lost.
Oops!
How about we take this to the next level?
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Commenters on the original post were quick to call BS, because what do you mean someone was giving road head (air head???) while flying an actual plane?
“Since when can a flight attendant just enter the cockpit unannounced?” one commenter asked. Others had similar questions, especially commenters with flight attendant backgrounds who were quick to spot inconsistencies in the all-too-juicy story. Someone else point out that since 9/11, it’s not actually possible for crew members to enter the cockpit without the door being opened from the inside.
So yes, the story was as fake as Canal St. Fendi. But that doesn’t mean that similar things haven’t actually happened in real life plenty of times… though usually between straight people.
Back in the olden days of 2011, Cathay Pacific got in hot water after images of a flight attendant servicing a pilot surfaced online. The best part? “There is no way to tell conclusively whether the photo was taken while the aircraft was on the ground or airborne,” the airline wrote in a statement.”
Yikes!
A few years earlier, a helicopter pilot lost his license for receiving oral from a Swedish spicy actress onboard while flying over San Diego. Even worse: like the Cathay Pacific incident, they filmed the entire thing. Talk about straight people nonsense!
Unfortunately, the reports of gay people pulling this kind of stunt are limited—or perhaps not that unfortunately, because girl, that is reckless driving! It’s a plane we’re talking about! Keep it in your pants!
One intriguing story from 1997 involving two pilots in a love affair ended sadly, without a note of randiness. A 32-year-old pilot flying a bomb-laden military plane over Colorado crashed into the mountain range below, ostensibly on purpose.
At the time, reports swirled around a possible relationship with another captain that was about to come out and threaten his job. In 1997, when DADT was still sadly in effect, being gay was enough to get you kicked out of the Air Force. “The Pentagon considers homosexuality to be incompatible with military service,” the LA Times starkly noted in the original report.
Sad stuff. So yes, by contrast and just to show how far we’ve come since those dark days of 1997, we’d love a report of two happy pilots enjoying themselves in the cockpit as a post-Pride apertif… just maybe not while in active flight.
Then again, who are we to judge?
Related
7 of the 8 World Cup quarterfinal nations have had a pro soccer player or referee come out
Argentina, Belgium, England, France, Norway, Spain and Switzerland have had out LGBTQ pro soccer players or referees.
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